One:I'd have to say that most of the things i remember from the past fifteen and a half years of walking on our slowly dying planet are the negatives. I don't really understand why, i can improve as much as i want and still look back on all the bad things that i have done and have been through and continue to say I didn't do good enough. In a sense seeing myself weaker keeps me striving to be better, but it doesn't help when i really need to stand tall. I understand that I am still finding myself, but i also understand I'm not so young as to not make decisions on my own. For you my friend I'm very sorry for what i have said to and about you. Eventually i Will get around to telling you this, but i figure i better give it some thought. I can group hop and fit in with as many people as i want, but i understand that you are my core. You are not what or who I am, but rather, one of the few who seem to keep me on track while we are/were friends. I told you everything, and i hope i can still tell you everything. I miss the connection we had with each other "sis" and you know who you are when i say this. I really hope you can forgive me because when negatives come to mind, my mistake of hurting you is one of the first.


Two: I remember when i first met you in sixth grade. i never really thought anything of you then other then the fact that you were pretty cute. Seventh grade came around and i finally really met you. From there i began to learn the basics of a relationship. It turned out that i picked up more then just the basics. I experienced love and continue to hold it close. Even when i messed up and you somehow ended up dating my best friend i stood by your side. I didn't know what to do with such a feeling. And like you said " what doesn't kill you makes you stronger". Through a newly found friend in the 8th grade i continued to nearly die and become stronger each time. Each negative feeling came with the positive thought that maybe you still cared about my thoughts and feelings. 9th grade hit,WE ARE BIG HIGHSCHOOLERS NOW is what rushed through my mind as i entered the front doors as a student at BHS for the first time. I still loved you maybe even more than i wanted to. Maybe i didnt want to love you at all but i couldnt stop. Homecoming came around and i screwed up again. Again you left me for my best friend. I love and hate your guts. But by the end of the night you left me with the thought of never washing my cheek again. You dated him and i deeply disliked even the sight of you, but i still loved you. Now I don;t know if i have the ability to control the emotions ive been hiding from you. I know that maybe you found someone new. But in a sense i have too. Instead of blowing off another person for you im giving someone a chance. And hopefully she will give me a chance. You are both my negative and postive , but either way id continue to be here for you. Thats why im stating you.


There is much more to state but I see that wasting so much time mourning over everything as a nuisance and a complete waste of time. Thank you for reading